When Dublin footballer lost his older brother John in 2012, it brought to an end a painful decade, during which John had slipped from the family circle into a deteriorating cycle of addiction.

The effects were personally devastating, but amidst the loss there was a glimmer of hope, of opportunity, and what ultimately became the starting point for a journey of remarkable self-discovery. In this profound and inspirational memoir, McMahon traces his and John’s paths, from his earliest recollections of their childhood through the maelstrom of Ballymun’s heroin epidemic.

He considers the relationships, tensions, arguments and chance occurrences that pushed them in very different directions: Philly to university, the boardroom and the hallowed turf of Croke Park; John to exile in London, heartbreak and, ultimately, tragedy.